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Are C*nts. Excuse my language but they arent worth my time thinking of insulting vocabulary.
Today I had 2 lesson gap on my timetable, a study period, or as students like to call them: free's. During this time we can use parts of college, in my case the library to get on with extra revision, homework etc. I was sitting at a computer doing photography work and talking to a friend next to me, lets call her A, we were talking quietly as the normal librarian (who ive known roughly 6 years) was sick and there was a cover person.
About 30 mins in everyone is quiet because the cover person wont stop yelling at anyone who breathes, I grab a pack of sweets cos my blood sugar was low and munch quietly before I know it Im being yelled at for eating and I quickly respond, oh Im type 1 diabetic Im allowed to which she doesnt reply only glare. Five minutes pass and she walks away and then comes over to me and demands I hand her my phone, which leaves me quite shocked because as part of the 6th form college phones are a privilege that we have during our free time, not in lessons of course. At which point everyone (of which the majority are also using phones) are staring at me. So I just do it.
I get on with my work feeling frustrated and confused as to what I had done wrong and decide as lunch approaches to go and see the 6th form leader, who has been given my phone. I explain to her my point of view and show her the large amount of work I have completed that study session and she tells me that a teacher has a right to confiscate my phone at any time, to which I reply the girl next to me and everyone else uses there's (there is no rule against it) but was told that was irrelevant (I dont think so, its targeting/ bullying). We also discussed the eating, to which she told me to control my medical condition better and if I need to get up and leave the room, (anyone with Type 1 or knows the condition will know that this is not an option and I need to eat and also puts me at more of a risk). At this point I was quite upset and so left the office and sat behind the building ending up in tears.
I rang a friend to calm down because I felt so volatile and scared, he helped me calm down and I said I was going home as I only had one lesson in the afternoon and more study time, and needed to go home. I rang my nan to see if I could talk to her, but she didnt pick up. My mother and father were both there when I got home and I told them exactly what happened getting worked up again about the whole thing, my father (the calmer of the two) rang the school and said spoke to her, which got heated up and resulted in basically that teacher taking my phone off me because Id stood up to her about eating and the person in charge continuing to blame me for the situation because of my condition, which is ridiculous, there is only so much I can control. My parents are arranging a meeting which the college is reluctant too but it needs to happen, im anxious and feel small, I don't like making a fuss but Im not going to let people walk over me because of a medical condition, you wouldnt accuse someone in a wheelchair of taking up too much space in the corridor, my condition, however invisible, is just as real, not to say more important, but I am still registered disabled in the eyes of my government and I have rights.
Agreed? Or am I being a drama queen?
Today I had 2 lesson gap on my timetable, a study period, or as students like to call them: free's. During this time we can use parts of college, in my case the library to get on with extra revision, homework etc. I was sitting at a computer doing photography work and talking to a friend next to me, lets call her A, we were talking quietly as the normal librarian (who ive known roughly 6 years) was sick and there was a cover person.
About 30 mins in everyone is quiet because the cover person wont stop yelling at anyone who breathes, I grab a pack of sweets cos my blood sugar was low and munch quietly before I know it Im being yelled at for eating and I quickly respond, oh Im type 1 diabetic Im allowed to which she doesnt reply only glare. Five minutes pass and she walks away and then comes over to me and demands I hand her my phone, which leaves me quite shocked because as part of the 6th form college phones are a privilege that we have during our free time, not in lessons of course. At which point everyone (of which the majority are also using phones) are staring at me. So I just do it.
I get on with my work feeling frustrated and confused as to what I had done wrong and decide as lunch approaches to go and see the 6th form leader, who has been given my phone. I explain to her my point of view and show her the large amount of work I have completed that study session and she tells me that a teacher has a right to confiscate my phone at any time, to which I reply the girl next to me and everyone else uses there's (there is no rule against it) but was told that was irrelevant (I dont think so, its targeting/ bullying). We also discussed the eating, to which she told me to control my medical condition better and if I need to get up and leave the room, (anyone with Type 1 or knows the condition will know that this is not an option and I need to eat and also puts me at more of a risk). At this point I was quite upset and so left the office and sat behind the building ending up in tears.
I rang a friend to calm down because I felt so volatile and scared, he helped me calm down and I said I was going home as I only had one lesson in the afternoon and more study time, and needed to go home. I rang my nan to see if I could talk to her, but she didnt pick up. My mother and father were both there when I got home and I told them exactly what happened getting worked up again about the whole thing, my father (the calmer of the two) rang the school and said spoke to her, which got heated up and resulted in basically that teacher taking my phone off me because Id stood up to her about eating and the person in charge continuing to blame me for the situation because of my condition, which is ridiculous, there is only so much I can control. My parents are arranging a meeting which the college is reluctant too but it needs to happen, im anxious and feel small, I don't like making a fuss but Im not going to let people walk over me because of a medical condition, you wouldnt accuse someone in a wheelchair of taking up too much space in the corridor, my condition, however invisible, is just as real, not to say more important, but I am still registered disabled in the eyes of my government and I have rights.
Agreed? Or am I being a drama queen?
Devious Journal Entry
Hey guys,
I know I havent been on in a long long time, lifes been busy in its own way and internet at my flat is non existent so have to use my phone as a hotspot... Thank you all for the birthday messages and hope youre all doing reliability okay and keeping your arty vibe alive
I turned 17 yesterday which is somewhere I honestly didnt think I'd be getting in life, but I had the best birthday with my other half who took me out for an entire full packed day of things that I love and then held me when I crashed from my high due to family issues at the end of the day. Life isnt exactly easy living by myself with anxiety and depression but I h
Update update update!!!
Hello my dear friends, I am alive! In all senses of the word, (on a serious note im doing quite well for those who understand) but im sorry I havent been around. How are you all? Please message me and note me and talk to me and stuffs. I've missed you, yes, you. Every single one of you.
So, this can only be short and to the point cos its nearly 10pm and i have to be up at 6.30 for work. But, I now live in my own place, well, supported housing, with a few rules, but I pay rent and have my own room, bathroom and kitchen. I work 4 days a week and train for one. My family arent around but Im getting on my feet. Im too tired to write much more b
Looking forward
Over the past several years of my life I have:
· Survived 12 suicide attempts
· Survived 18 months in the government care system
· Survived 2 years of sexual abuse by a family member and then been called a liar
· Survived a ketoacidosic coma
· Survived being hit, cursed and yelled at
· Survived being kept from my younger siblings
· Survived being on antidepressants
· Survived every burn, bruise and cut
· Survived failing college
· Survived falling in love and back out of lov
So...
So its the 18th of December. 5 years ago I was rushed into hospital by my mum from my doctors surgery and admitted into ICU, my blood sugars were high, my ketone levels even more dangerously so, I had dropped so much weight you could see my ribs and was constantly attached to the tap. The next few days were spent with hourly obs, on the 7th floor of a childrens hospital watching the snow over the ocean, with everything feeling so surreal. I remember my first injection, I remember every injection since then. I remember the horror flowing through me as my doctor explained what was room and the dawning realization that it would never go away. Si
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Comments7
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You're totally right, Charly.
Keep that in mind and be stronger. You're a fierce fighter.
Keep it up!
Keep that in mind and be stronger. You're a fierce fighter.
Keep it up!